is it real, or is it Memorex?

The body memory of experiences that are incomplete or unresolved can become triggered into our mode of operating in the present moment by things that are happening today. Sometimes the current happenings are reminiscent in some way of the previous unresolved events. Sometimes the current happenings are the catalyst in ways that can seem irrelevant and unexplainable. If it's stored in our nervous system and unresolved it can be triggered. That's the bottom line I'm working from here.

I had a reminder today of the importance of listening to the language we are using when talking about our internal experiences. When something that happened at an earlier time in our history is triggered, or opens up, into the present moment and we are filled with the feelings of that time, sometimes, we revert to talking about our self from that earlier age - -as if we still are that age. A simple example is the use of the phrase, "________ is going to kill me!" We might be referring to a friend, or partner/spouse, or employer. It is a very "young" phrase. Spoken as if one is still a child - -a time when parents' wield a feeling of authority and power and their rage can feel as enormous and threatening as a killing force to us. In using this phrase when adult there is a sense of less empowered, childhood reality (my mother's going to kill me) still operating within us and being expressed with our adult mouth. If we aren't listening to the language and noticing that we are feeling that small and vulnerable and unempowered, we might actually believe that we are that small and vulnerable. Right now. This can limit our actual current day options and leave us relating to other adults as if we are not one among them.

Sometimes it takes more processing of the unresolved experiences to find our footing again and feel our self to be the adult that we now are. The nervous system doesn't necessarily relinquish what it has been holding onto by only listening to our language. But listening can be a significant piece of the whole of what will help us finish what our body is still remembering and storing.

I might want to work on this one some more. Later.............

we do it over and over again because we are trying to finish it

I learned something from one of my teachers in recent years that has been one of the most profoundly significant pieces of information that has ever crossed my path. It has moved me both personally and professionally into a perspective on healing that is perhaps deeper than any single piece of information I had previously discovered. I know that I have been to many deep wells of understanding of Life and The Bigger Picture of our presence here as humans. My quest has taken me to a vast breadth of wise people, creative thinkers, scholars of great intellect, guides who have acquired profound spiritual acumen - - teachers, all, whose gifts have shaped my vision and the bits of knowledge I can claim at this point on my journey. I feel tremendous gratitude for all the lessons that have graced my path in the many configurations that they have presented to me. And there is this moment in time, now, of feeling so moved by one particular understanding of what directs the "stories" we find our selves in over and over again.

That was a really long intro to this one thing that I realized that I wanted to write about today. I guess there were some things I wanted to share that weren't there in my awareness when I started that first sentence. Writing is a mystery that unfolds sometimes and surprises me when I see what my fingers have to say. Back on point.........

My (above mentioned) teacher's name is Yiri. Yiri has taught me some fantastically exciting things about pre and peri-natal psychology and trauma. What I wanted to talk about today is how we recapitulate, throughout our life, the unresolved shock trauma that is carried (remembered) in our nervous system from events that occur in utero and during our birth experience. The memory gets set in our nervous system because of our inability to complete, or process, the distressing events or circumstances that occur during these times. Developmentally we just don't have the equipment fully in place to deal with distressing or threatening experiences. It becomes embedded in our physiology. Something distressing produces an impact and we can't respond in a way that will resolve this. There are many things, some we typically consider routine and uneventful, that occur during this time in our development that are actually profoundly significant.

What I now understand and keep recognizing on deeper and deeper levels is how these places that are so deep in our physiology are the underpinnings of so many issues that appear to be relevant to much later events in our lives. To be able to slow down enough to touch into the sensations that indicate our earliest places of distress brings a power to the possibilities for transformation that is profound.

Every step I have taken in my life to heal what has needed healing within me has brought me more into my body and ultimately connected me to my Spirit. I believe that there is a time in utero when our Spirit enters our body and we begin this next place on our journey through learning on the physical plane. It is a time when Soul and body unite in alliance for this miraculous trip that we call our life. We will learn from what feels good and easy and we will learn from what feels painful and challenging. For me, the path of healing is an incredibly exciting part of the schooling along the way.

As Rumi once wrote, "Be grateful for whoever comes, for each has been sent as a guide from beyond."